Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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