I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
