Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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