You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
