I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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