is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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