Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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