okay pat passed out under dana's car
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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