its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
