Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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