so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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