She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize