While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
