dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I look better un-naked...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
