when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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