Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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