Already got asked if we're dating
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
