What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
