Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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