You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
bring money and cleavage
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
