If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
