I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
