We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize