I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
