just come out here and I will go home with you...
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
