youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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