Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
