Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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