New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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