so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
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