I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
