I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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