I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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