I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
