It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
