I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i believe in u and ur pee
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
