My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
