just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize