just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
