I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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