IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
