Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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