Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
