he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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