Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
