In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
