dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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