how can u be prego again
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
