she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
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Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
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Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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