K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize