called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
