I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
