you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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