Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
