Dude my mom stole all your condoms
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
