That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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