I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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