I wish i was in the wii world.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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