You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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