Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize