I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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