No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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